you can preach about slut-shaming all you want, but you can’t deny there’s something very wrong with 13 and 14-year old girls going out in skirts and dresses so short they barely cover their asses and shirts with necklines so low they show off cleave they haven’t got yet, drinking and even smoking and hooking up with guys before they even have a substantial knowledge of how sex and sexual relationships work.


nah still gonna preach about slut-shaming because if we are raising our girls in a society where they see barely-18 (if that) models splashed everywhere during the time of their lives where they are most influenced by role-modelling we have no right to shame them for acting in the way they were taught to

13/14 year old girls (AND ALL OTHER GENDERS) are discovering what it means to be “sexy” at this age. they are going  to wear things that are inappropriate - this goes for every middleschooler - they are experimenting and that!! is!!! okay!! we all were 13 and wore a skirt or too much bodyspray and felt like we were grown up!! the bad part is that society has taken that normative experimentation and made it disgusting. wanna know how? bc we have taught dudes that young girls are totally viable sexual partners (just look at lolita) and whomever makes the rules went “wait, i cannot control my dingdong around young girls in shorts because i have been conditioned to like any vision of legs i see. this disturbs me, and it is wrong. i don’t like feeling like i am wrong or dirty. WAIT what if i say they are the wrong and dirty one???? yEAH they should know better than to turn me on!!” you want proof? try the bodyspray topic again - young boys are trying to be “sexy” for their age group just like girls are trying to be sexy for their age group. but you don’t see boys having to miss school because they smell like axe, young boys are not sexualized like girls are (although they definitely have role-models i don’t approve of such as hyper-masculine males) so we don’t see older woman saying “you can preach about slut-shaming all you want, there is something really wrong with young boys smelling so good and not letting us touch them,” which is basically what this post sounds like.

behavior which is detrimental to a 13/14 year-old’s psyche such as reckless sexual abandon is not an opportunity for you to say “she’s a slut.” actual sexual activity is not the fault of a minor. you are basically saying “i expect someone who is too young to even vote to be in constant and knowledgeable command of their choices and that this is only the responsibility of the girl. boys will be boys at this age, ammiright?” fuck this ideal. the reason middleschoolers behave in this way isn’t because they are sluts. they behave in this way because we are failing in our responsibility as adults to teach younger generations about responsible sexual activity. how come when a student has not learned pre-calc we don’t expect them to understand calculus but when a student has not been given a safe and sane sexual education, we expect them to just know?

i am disappointed with this society which seems to throw large and difficult personal topics at young women - sex, drugs, etc. - and refuses to  teach them how to handle these topics, only that they are the gateway to being (or not being) “cool.” We allow boys a lot of freedom in experimentation, but we will outright condemn any girl who is simply trying to figure out the rules to a game on her own when we should have given her the full packet and walk-through way before she started playing.

i hate this post and i hope it dies because there is so much disgusting about it it is 2014 and you can still make a comment about 13 year old girls being too sexy for their own good and you will get hundreds of thousands of notes i am sad and fed up idk

(via androgynistic)

Female-assigned intersex kids’ vaginal canal size is also assessed by doctors, to ensure that it’s long enough to fit a penis inside of it. Doctors might surgically construct or re-construct vaginas, which can result in a host of health problems and necessitate multiple, multiple surgeries. This is especially the case since most intersex kids have these surgeries very young, and when their bodies grow into their adult forms, more surgeries are necessary to keep their vagina size in proportion. Non-surgical methods are also used to increase or maintain vaginal length by regularly using medical dildos to stretch the vagina over months and years. (It’s kind of like braces for your vagina, but much, much worse.) Just like there are no standards for how long a clitoris “can” be before it’s classified as a penis, there aren’t absolute standards as to how long a vagina is for it to be of “normal” length.

I had a dilation procedure performed for almost every exam I had with intersex doctors from the time I was 8 until I was 16, so that they could check how long my vagina was as I grew. I absolutely hated these procedures. I mean, imagine a man as old as your father or your grandfather, who you don’t know, inserting a medical dildo into you each time you saw him, knowing that you can’t question the doctor’s orders and just accept that you have to undergo these uncomfortable procedures for your health. Imagine a decade or so later, realizing that these procedures did nothing to track your health, and had everything to do with grown men feeling good about the fact that you could fuck some dude someday like a “normal girl”. That all those traumatizing procedures weren’t actually medically relevant at all, and it actually was within my right to refuse those examinations.

I didn’t know any of that at the time.

I also had no idea that I wouldn’t want to ultimately have the kind of sex they assumed I’d be having, adding yet another layer of this-was-totally-unnecessary/messed-up to my history.

Other kids shouldn’t have to go through this. Other adults shouldn’t have revelations some day far into the future that what was happening to them WASN’T okay, and their traumatic feelings ARE valid, and the whole system of how intersex people are conceptualized and “treated” IS entirely fucked.

And it’s gotta change. We’ve gotta change it.

—-Claudia at Autostraddle

I just read this article and was reminded once again how invisible the intersex community often is… we need to signal boost this shit to let people know that this kind of “medical treatment” is NOT okay.

(via bossybussy)

(via tommyistoofastforthisshit)


'heterosexual' is an orientation and an identity label. it is not 'a man and a woman doing something together' and pretending it is only fuels heteronormativity. a relationship between a man and a woman in which one or both of the participants is bisexual is not a heterosexual relationship, any more than a friendship between a man and a woman is a heterosexual friendship, or mixed doubles tennis is a heterosexual sport.

I don’t think the comment “bisexuals have straight privilege unless they’re in lesbian relationships” makes any more sense than saying “lesbians have straight privilege while they’re single”. This makes the assumption that all bisexuals who are single or in opposite-sex relationships actively hide their sexual orientation.

If a gay woman keeps her sexual identity secret while she’s single in order to avoid discrimination, we don’t accuse her of co-opting straight privilege – we sympathize with her for feeling the need to closet herself. So why the double standard for bisexuals?

It might not apply to you, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t straight-looking femme lesbians, or androgynous-looking, rainbow-wearing, alternative-haircut-having bisexuals. My point is that that comment oversimplifies and overgeneralizes things in a way that seems unreasonable to me.

… no one depicted the contradictions of aging more sharply than that intrepid feminist avatar, Simone de Beauvoir. Entering middle age, she felt she could not recover from the shock of realizing she was no longer young: “How is it that time, which has no form nor substance, can crush me with so huge a weight that I can no longer breathe?” Beauvoir was, of course, the preeminent inspiration for so many of my very particular “post-war” generation in our youth, rousing us to confront and resist the situation of women’s symbolic and social marginalization in, and as, The Second Sex. Fifteen years after publishing that rallying call, however, Beauvoir was unable to resist the searing sorrow she felt confronting her own aging when concluding her third autobiographical book recording her life and times, Force Of Circumstance, first published in 1963.

Beauvoir was just fifty-five when expressing her words of anguish in that book: we learn that she loathed observing her own face in the mirror, lamented finding herself without any lover, perhaps all the more so as she watched the oversupply of beautiful, desiring women flocking around the man she claimed as her own lifetime companion, the by then physically frail and fast deteriorating Jean-Paul Sartre. Most of all, she despaired that she would never again be able, never again be allowed, to experience any new desires, or to display her yearnings publicly. “Never again!” she laments, naming the passing of all the things now slipping away from her grasp. Listing her former joys, plans, and projects, she wrote: “It is not I who am saying goodbye to all those things I once enjoyed, it is they who are leaving me.”

Lynne Segal, from “All the Selves We Have Been"  (via miscfisc)